At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
