the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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