you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
