$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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