Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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