I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
