just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
