Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize