Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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