Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
