So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
