yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize