Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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