I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
