I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Do vagina's smell?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
