how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You pole danced in your parka.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
