the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
