turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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