Whod you bang
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize