Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize