Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
two words...techno handjob
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
