All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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