Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
