Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
