I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
