there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
