How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
