he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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