Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Come on in and take your pants off
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