Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
