New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
