he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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