he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
