Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
