Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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