He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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