Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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