If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
