My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
