your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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