last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
