we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
