I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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