1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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