It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
