The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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