Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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