I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
