All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize