i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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