I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
