If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
