I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize