I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
