keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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