i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
