I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
there is glitter all over my balls
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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