Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
