I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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