dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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