it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize