guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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