She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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