I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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