i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
im six kinds of drunk right now
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
