is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
