were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
