This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
