Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
