I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
