never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
