No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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