He is an equal opportunity slut.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
