We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
