so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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