we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize